Help…I’m stuck!

As I look around at people in the world today, I’m struck by a commonality that they all share. Everyone has something, usually several somethings, that they are holding onto that they need to simply let go. We all have them. That something that you might even know you need to release, but just can’t seem to figure out how, or find the motivation to just do it.

Don’t sit there and tell me that YOU’RE the only one that doesn’t hold on to anything. Don’t lie to me in that way. :-)

Oh, you might not have thought about your little insecurity blanket for a long while, but it’s there. And the moment that you DO think about it, all those old feelings and thoughts come rushing back in and you are right back where you were before. That’s the way it works when we hold onto things.

I find it almost funny the things we DO hold on to. Have you ever noticed that people don’t hold on to the BEST of times? But rather, they hold on to those awful, hurtful moments that brought them pain and heartache. Boy, are we a masochistic species or what?

OK…so, here we go. Let’s do some spring cleaning and get your ass UN-stuck.

First let’s figure out why you are holding on to these things in the first place. I think that there are a few reasons that people use to justify holding on to bad things. We hold on to things because we are used to the feelings they provide. This seems, to me, to be almost the abusive reasoning. It’s the one where you tell yourself that it’s always going to be like this, so, why let this go and be hurt again. People also hold on to things because they get stuck in the cycle of revenge, or “one-ups”. They will hold on to an event as an “ace in the hole” to use against someone. Some people simply don’t know how to let things go and be OK with letting them go.

I’m certain that there are LOTS of other reasons…after all; I don’t think I’m THAT smart to know them all.  But it’s a start and you will already know why you’re holding on. So, take a moment and pick something that you’re stuck with. Look at it, feel it, hold it at arm’s length, and then tell yourself why you’re holding on to it.

Now look at what you just said. Was the reason “because keeping this with me makes me a better person to myself and the people around me”?

Yea…somehow I didn’t think that was your reason either. So, if this is something that’s not making you a better person, why ARE you keeping it? I vote to just throw it out right now.

No? You don’t want to yet? OK. Then look at it, and tell yourself how you feel when you’re thinking about it.

Was your answer, “I feel better about myself and the people that are in my life. Happy or peaceful no matter where I am and what I’m doing”?

Yea…somehow I didn’t think that would be your answer either. :-)

I have a thought I’d like you to think about, and maybe even adopt as your own. “You are NOT the sum of your failures.” Most of the things we hold on to are related to times when we believe we have failed. And it’s almost as if we hold on to them so that we can continually poke ourselves in the eye with them.

STOP DOING THAT!!! I like your eyes…and I bet you do to. You don’t have to hold on to things to beat yourself up with later. Or beat anyone else for that matter. The only thing you are doing by holding on to negative things is giving the negative a chance to grow in YOU. And it’s a booger. It’ll grow fastest when you’re not looking and try to smother everything else out of your life.

So, let’s take your something and look at it one more time. Was it hurt? Heartache? Pain? Betrayal? Embarrassment? Whatever it was, accept that it happened to you. Realize that in some way, this helped to make you the person you are today. Turn your hands over and let it fall. Tell yourself that you’re OK and let’s just move on, our step a little lighter and our burden a little easier.

I’m going to close with a quote that I want you to think about. Hell, print it out and stick it in your bathroom to see every day. Remember it and just know that I believe in you, always.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Marianne Williamson