"I'm not a teacher: only a fellow traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you." - George Bernard Shaw
So, I was watching a movie, “My Best Friend’s Girl”, and MAN was it a funny movie. Let me tell you a bit about it…It’s got Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, and Jason Biggs. The basic plot is that Tank (Dane Cook) is the worst rebound date EVER. Guy’s go to him after their girlfriend’s break up with them or want to see other people or whatever. Tank makes certain that they have SUCH a horrible time that the girls run back to their nice, sweet, caring guys. Like I said…recipe for FUNNY!
Now, let’s get this straight, Tank is a COMPLETE asshole. And he ever admits it several times in the movie. But what struck me about him is that he has complete and total CONFIDENCE. There was a scene that illustrated this perfectly. Tank is in this bar, getting paid for the latest service, and he’s walking through the bar, checking out the women there and he goes up to the bar and steps between these two girls. He then proceeds to be the BIGGEST ass you could imagine to one of the girls until she leaves, declaring “You are a complete asshole!” Now, he goes back to his drink and the other girl says, “You know, she’s right. You are a complete asshole.” His response?? “So walk away then.”
Now, I’m not about to encourage ANYONE to be an asshole. I personally, don’t like people that are like that. But what struck me was the total acceptance of himself and the way he chose to be. He didn’t make excuses, he didn’t play any games or wear any masks, he didn’t even lie about it to anyone including himself.
So that leads us to today’s topic…Confidence.
"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you." - Stacey Charter
A lack of confidence in yourself is probably the single biggest thing that will hold you back, in every way. If you have no confidence in yourself, there’s NO way that you’re going to try something new, or take any risks, or just put yourself out into life. You place yourself in your own little cage and call it cute little words to make you feel better. Comfort zone, stable, normal, safe and secure.
And sadly, by keeping yourself locked up in your comfort zone, you will never develop the confidence to step out. See, confidence isn’t something that you can read about and gain. It’s not a theoretical concept. Confidence is something that you have to actively work in order to build. You can’t just think it into being.
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." - Dale Carnegie
Confidence is the trait that lets you become more than you are right now. It lets you grow. It makes you step outside of your comfort zone and try things that you have never done before in ways that you’ve never tried before. Confidence gives you the ability to fail. That’s really the bottom line. We all live with fear; confidence allows us to rise above that fear.
“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” - Richard M. Devos
There’s no easy, step-by-step plan to building confidence. It’s not a checklist that you can tick off items and BOOM you’ve got confidence. I wish it were that easy. :-) The biggest thing to remember in this quest for confidence is to not give up. You ARE going to fail at times. That’s part of life. Get used to it! It takes time, and work, trial and error, and a dedication to the work. Just don’t give up…the rewards for your life are more than you think.
“Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” - Richard L. Evans
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