Prelude and the First Step…

Before we start anything, I’d like to take a second and talk about a few of the things that I found when looking for 12 Step info with my friend, Google.

I saw a LOT of rants and discussions and “proof” that A.A was little more than a cult. And I will even admit that you can present it in a certain light to get that conclusion.

But…

Regardless of anyone else’s feelings or opinions about A.A…that’s not what we’re doing and why we’re here. At least, I hope you’re not dealing with that. :-)

I found MANY sites that paint the 12 Steps in a very negative way. That’s OK. They can have that opinion. I want to walk through a path and the 12 Steps, I think, are very helpful on that path. They ask a person to look, REALLY look, at aspects of their own character, thoughts, and feelings that might be hindering or hurting them. I believe that, THAT is the only way to honestly grow and change. If you can’t look at the problem, see it for what it is, and find a way to deal with it and move through it, then you’re not really growing. You’re just walking around the problem and it WILL come up behind you and bite you in the ass.

The only thing that I will say, is that if you are uncomfortable with the steps…then by all means, don’t do them! Personal growth and change is NEVER something that is forced or demanded. I want you to be a better person, but YOU ultimately have to make that choice for yourself. If you’re not ready…then you’re not ready. No shame in knowing and admitting that. :-)

So…let’s move on to the first of twelve steps to a better you.

I think the beauty of the 12 Steps is that you can really use them for anything. Pick a part of your life that you want to “fix” and start with step one. Work through the steps until you get to the end and see what progress you’ve made. You might even want to do the steps a few times on the same issue. Kinda like the directions on the shampoo bottle. “Wash, Rinse, and Repeat.”

Please remember that this isn’t going to be a quick 12 days for 12 steps kinda thing. If I could do THAT…I’d be rich and you probably wouldn’t hear from me for a good long while. :-) This is a process, a journey, an adventure into yourself. Take your time and realize that you will have good days and bad days in this process. Go easy on yourself and just keep on truckin'.

Step one is an initial step of admission. The exact wording is:

“We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable”

*Note – The 12 Steps were originally used for alcoholics and has since been modified for many other addictions. Don’t get hung up on the words used. Substitute as necessary.

There are a couple things in the first step that I’d like to point out.

1. We were powerless over SOMETHING

That means that there is something in your life that you just can’t find a way to control. It’s a behavior, thought pattern, emotional pattern, something that impacts your life and YOU don’t have full control or possibly, any interaction at all in the process.

2. That our lives had become unmanageable

This is really a key point here. Because of this behavior, there is a MAJOR negative impact to our lives. Whatever this behavior is, it’s causing us pain. Because we don’t have control of this behavior, our lives, in this area, are unmanageable. Now, this may overflow into other areas of life and be causing a cascading of problems and pain, but we’re just going to focus on one area at a time.


This is ALWAYS the initial step in any run through the 12 Steps. Just because you do this once, doesn’t mean you can breeze through it the next time. This is a conscious admission of a problem that you are going to focus on. You MUST take this first step in order to get your brain in gear for the work that is to follow.

Part of the work of this first step is to get down exactly what it is that you’re going to be working through. To that end, I’ve found this. It’s a brief worksheet that will help you to organize your thoughts and force you to detail what the issue is and how it impacts your life. Decide on a name for it, and throughout the rest of the steps, be sure to use that name on everything you write. It will help you to keep focused.

That’s it for Step 1. A simple :-) admission that you can’t control whatever it is that’s causing you pain. It’s the start of an understanding that YOU can’t do it alone.

And hopefully….you realize that you ARE not alone. In so many different ways, we aren’t alone. If anything, I’m here, walking this path with you.