Have a Nice Day…

Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, I show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.

“Have a Nice Day” – Bon Jovi

Sounds like a great attitude, doesn’t it? Can you REALLY say that you live your life the way you want to? Or are you like most everyone and tied to SO many things you don’t want and never wanted that you have no idea how to break free and find that life that you’re supposed to be living?

I think that everyone goes through this feeling at least once in their life. Count yourself lucky if it has been only once for you. Some days you just look around at your life and wonder, “What the hell happened? This isn’t at all like how I dreamed my life would be.”

So what do you do at that point? If you’re like most people, you look around yourself and try to find all the safety and security that you can in the way your life is currently. You rationalize that even though you hate your job or the work that you’re doing, at least you HAVE a job and it’s stable and secure. You might look at your family and convince yourself that you can suck it up for them and be a good provider. There are a millions excuses and justifications that we use to hide ourselves from the reality we are in.

What’s that reality? You are unhappy with where your life is right now and afraid of the changes that are required to get the life you want.

“You will remain where you are until the pain of staying put exceeds the pain of changing.” – MD

Take a moment and reread that last quote. It’s a powerful one if you REALLY think about it. See, as humans we respond to one of two stimuli, and there are ONLY two. I’m sure you can guess them if you think about it. The stimuli are Pleasure and Pain. The funny thing is, pain is ALWAYS more powerful a motivator than pleasure.

So what’s your pain threshold for your life right now? What would it take for you to decide to make a change in order to be happier and more satisfied with where you are? For most people, it’s something HUGE, like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. ONLY then will they look around with unclouded eyes and try to see the path to making life better and happier for themselves.

But what if you could do it BEFORE something tragic happened? Well, the honest answer is, you can, but most people don’t change until the pain is great enough. I want you to stop living a life of pain and start living a life full of happiness and TRUE contentment. That means that you’re going to have to do some honest, blunt self evaluation. Then you can develop a plan to get you from here to there.

Now, I’m NOT advocating that you quit that shitty job that you hate, or divorce your spouse, or ANYTHING else. In fact…I’m going to tell you to not take any action at all for right now. You can’t make any significant change without first figuring out WHERE you want to be and HOW to get there. There are a few steps that you MUST do in order; otherwise…you’re going to be stepping into a train wreck.

1. Evaluate what the problems are.
2. Decide what you want to change.
3. Determine what end result you are going to shoot for (Now is NOT the time to be timid!)
4. Figure what steps you will need to take to get to your goal.
5. Break each step into smaller steps that you can feel more comfortable with achieving
6. Get to work on your plan

For example, if you don’t like your job…then you will need to figure out WHAT job would make you happy. Then you will need to brainstorm the steps you need to take to get a job like that. Do you need more or different training? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need to move?

Once you have your steps written down then you can start to work on each step. It may be that you need to look into financial aid, loans, and grants if you have to return to school. You will also need to find a program that you can do and that works for your schedule. You might need to start making some contacts in the field you want to move into. NOTICE…nowhere here do I mention that you quit your current job and hope you can make ends meet until you can get another one.

Approaching change with a plan will give you a sense of comfort and also a means to keep track of your progress towards your goal. You can keep moving, even when you might start feeling like you’ll never make it to the finish line.

Remember…YOU CAN DO IT! It takes putting one foot in front of the other and believing in yourself but eventually, you’ll reach that finish line and hear me cheering for you. :-)