Happiness is…

“Have you ever felt so out of place
That the smile on your face
Was to keep from cryin
I don’t know how we get so out of touch
But I don’t want much
Just to find out
What happiness is”
– “Happiness Is” - Verve Pipe

Ah yes…today I’m going to try to tackle another of those pesky nonspecific, emotional, nailing jell-o to the wall, feelings. :-)

Happiness.

Ya feel it? Ya know what it is? Ya think?

So, let’s get Mr. Webster’s minimal contribution out of the way first. Shall we?

Happiness is a: a state of well-being and contentment: b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Yup…well, that’s not much help is it? Well-being and contentment or a pleasurable, satisfying experience…OK…so, then even bad sex could count as happiness. Right?

OK…all kidding aside…what the hell is happiness? I mean, it’s part of the American Way, isn’t it? So how can we pursue something that we haven’t a clue as to what it is? How do you know when you’ve got it? And more importantly, how can you keep this fickle bitch around for longer than a few moments?

We’ve all experienced happiness. Don’t even try to tell me you haven’t. Oh, I’ll grant you, it may have been a LONG time since you feel you’ve been really happy, but we all know the feelings that happiness brings. There’s the warm glow that surrounds your heart. The smile that simply appears on your face. You feel at peace and as though you were a part of something SO much grander than your own self. For the moment…you’re on top of the world. Then, of course, the world yanks you back down to the ground and your happiness skitters away like rats abandoning a sinking ship.

Does it HAVE to be this way? What is it about the human condition that prevents us from living in a state of happiness for our entire lives?

The answer to the first is easy. No, it doesn’t have to be this way. It IS possible to have happiness as a constant companion. (And you don’t have to be “special” for that to happen either!). The second question in brief is simple to answer, but it’s much harder to detail and put into practice.

The problem that we as humans face each and every day that is a stumbling block to our continued happiness is, in truth, ourselves. We live as though we deserve to be happy and deserve for everything to go as WE plan it. K…let me tell you a little joke here.

Do you know how to make God laugh? Tell Him YOUR plans for the day.

Life very rarely works out the way we plan it. Why? Well…there are these plan disrupters called “other people” that just go around waiting to fuck up every plan you make. :-) It’s called life and we all live within the same environment when it comes to life. Your actions affect everything around you, as do everyone else’s actions. There is contention when actions result in contrary results. And, sadly, we humans are proud and vain enough to believe that our way is the best in most all situations.

I’ve talked before about trying to live life without any expectations. That’s a big challenge, but it’s got some far reaching results if you can succeed. One of the biggest is a lot more happiness in your life. Expectations are like the big white elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about them, especially if they aren’t being taken care of. And a pissed off white elephant is nothing to laugh about. :-)

We have had some AMAZING examples of people that have moved past the need to live with expectations and I believe that they truly had happiness as a constant companion. Even when they went through more serious shit than you or I will ever deal with. Who are they? To name a couple right off the top of my head…Gandhi and Jesus.

Gandhi lived a life that was in all honesty, beyond the mundane of this life and world. He was profound in his dealings with all others. Sure, he wanted the best for everyone around him, even those that were attacking him, but he only expected them to deal with their own shit in their own way. He lived his life with an easy peace, tangible grace, overwhelming love, and pure happiness.

Jesus knew what His path was to be and how it was going to end. I thank God that I don’t. And yet, He still lived and loved and only wanted the best for those around Him. Even the men that would eventually kill Him. Read a bit of His story. He lived with total peace, unconditional love, and complete happiness. He smiled easily and always had kindness for everyone.

Now, don’t think I’m saying that theirs are the only ways to a life of happiness. But understand that the world’s view of happiness (Money and stuff) won’t cut it for lifelong, lasting happiness. I think that the parallels between Gandhi and Jesus (peace and love) are the real source of complete happiness. Find yourself, work for peace in your life, and learn to love unconditionally. These are the keys to happiness. And they are DEFINITELY within your reach.

Be sure to wave, I’m the guy over there that is happy and smiling like an idiot. :-)