At least, that’s how it is outside right now. But how often could those very words describe our insides? If you’re like most people…probably very often.
Depression is higher in our time than ever before. Maybe we’re just getting better at seeing it and diagnosing it…but somehow I don’t think that’s it. I think that we live in a time where SO much is available and SO much is expected that our coping skills just can’t handle it. LOL…coping skills??!! I think that the FEW people that actually have them might be better able to handle the deluge, but for most of us…coping skills is an unheard of phrase.
Very few people seem to have adequate coping skills. It doesn’t seem to be something that is taught by anyone anymore. Now it seems that we simply rely on the next new drug to take care of all our emotional problems.
Some people sleep, some eat, some work more, some cry more, some drink, some shoot up…but it seems that no one EVER wants to deal with it. As a species we seem to be great avoiders. We have learned to avoid conflict, arguments, responsibility, bill collectors, our parents, our spouses, and DEFINITELY our problems.
Unfortunately, that only contributes to the problem. We take all those feelings and experiences that we SHOULD deal with, learn from, and let go, and instead, we push them down, sidestep them, and press on waiting for the bucket to become full enough to over flow. Then…we go see our friendly doctor and get a prescription for FUKITOL. Or, we up the dose. :-)
We miss the benefits of going through the hard stuff and dealing with the emotions and the consequences. We deny ourselves the opportunity to grow into a better person. Instead, we lock it all away and actually shrink a little each time.
Don’t get me wrong…there are LOTS of things that seem impossible to deal with. Death, rape, abuse, just to name a few. But we have the wrong impression of ourselves. We believe that there is NO way to get through this, to deal with it, to be normal and healthy again. Guess what…there is NOTHING that you can’t deal with. There is NOTHING that you can’t get through. That’s just the plain truth of it.
Now, it might take finding someone that can help you walk through everything that is a result of your experiences. That’s OK. Sometimes it’s as easy as having someone that will just listen to you talk and knowing that you are accepted by that person, no matter what. I’ve heard that good counseling is 75% listening. That should tell you something.
But the truth is, you don’t need to pay $175/hour to get good therapy. All you really need is a good friend. One that isn’t going to try to fix you, or bombard you with their advise. Someone that will sit with you as the tears fall and support you when you’re crawling right along the bottom. THOSE kinds of friends are rare. I am blessed myself in that I have 3 of them. Sorry for hoarding…but I’ve needed them a lot. :-)
Those kinds of friends help you through whatever it is that’s cloudying up your life and greying up your heart. They can give you comfort as you talk (or in my case babble sometimes) and get out what you’ve held deep inside. Because, I’ve learned, you can’t get through something that you hold onto. You HAVE to be willing to let it go. You HAVE to be willing to move on and go through the hurt in order for your heart and soul to heal.
Oh, you’ll still have the scars. No one makes it through life without any scars. :-) But you’ll be able to look at them, run a finger over them, and smile because you can know that you made it through and are really a better person because of it. I know…because sometimes I take the time to look over my scars. And I know that they help to make me who I am.
Don’t be afraid…sit down and let’s start healing. I’m right here with you.
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